


Through Blue Glasses

by berta1098



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drabble, Drama, Gen, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 08:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5121434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berta1098/pseuds/berta1098
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik didn’t know what kind of garbage they played in radio now. It must be cheap pop and forgettable ones like Elvis Presley of those bunches of British wannabes like The Beatles and Rolling Stones. Long short story, Erik was so bored that he would even read Shakespeare and Bronte. Charles must be kept entertained by his book collection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Blue Glasses

_Des yeux qui font bisser les miens_

_Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche_

_Voila le portrait sans retouche_

_De l’homme auquel j’appartiens_

-Edith Piaf, _La Vie en Rose_

 

Erik concentrated on his memory of Edith Piaf’s La Vie en Rose. It was tiring to concentrate on a memory, but it was his only saving grace of boredom. It was very reasonable that the prison didn’t provide him radio, television, computer, and even books. For the three first things, of course it was to prevent him from creating a new weapon. For the last one, Erik could only imagine that they predicted that he would be inspired to create a weapon from a book, fiction or not. Now, Erik would let himself be tied up like mental hospital patients if only they would let him listening to Edith Piaf or Nilla Pizzi. Erik didn’t know what kind of garbage they played in radio now. It must be cheap pop and forgettable ones like Elvis Presley of those bunches of British wannabes like The Beatles and Rolling Stones. Long short story, Erik was so bored that he would even read Shakespeare and Bronte. Charles must be kept entertained by his book collection.

Erik had finished the song. He had been on the process of reminicising Tchaikovsky by the time a guard appeared above him. He held a paper that read, “You have a visitor.”

 

Truthfully, Erik didn’t know what to expect after the guard had told him that he had a visitor. Surely, all the government officials had given up on his case. His comrades, as _loyal_ as they were, Erik knew that they didn’t have the same level of loyalty to him than Shaw. He could bit traces of Shaw whenever he spent his time with Emma, Azazel, and Riptide. The only one that had reasonable to reason to visit him was Raven, but he doubted the younger mutant was that stupid to risk herself. Charles…well, Charles didn’t bother to come after all these years. Erik just crossed Charles’ name automatically.

Not that Erik didn’t miss all their discussions and games, but he himself didn’t know what to say after Charles rejected him.

The person who visited him was someone he didn’t think at all. Not only because the lack of bond, but Erik couldn’t just see any reason for the person to visit him.

“Hello, Erik,” murmured Hank.

“Hello, Hank.”

“Ten minutes!”

The guard left the two of them alone. Well, not exactly alone, as Erik could feel the presence of camera and sound recorder. Hank could feel that something’s changed on Erik. He couldn’t put a word of it though. Hank couldn’t decide Erik’s feeling after seeing him. Whether Erik was angry or not, the said man hid his emotion perfectly although he didn’t hide his curiosity that well. Oh yes, Hank could see a thousand questions in Erik’s head. This time, Hank wasn’t happy with what he had to explain to Erik. “

Well, Hank, I couldn’t say that I was happy to see you as I do not see any reason to. Yet I couldn’t say that your visit disturbs me as well, there’s nothing for you to disturb. Hank, we also know that you have a special ability to give a long – and sometimes useless – explanation. I want you to straight to the point.”

Hank gulped. “Erik, are you sure you want me to straight to the point?”

“Yes Hank.”

“Erik, what I will be telling you is a big deal. It’s better if you prepare yourself a bit,” said Hank slowly.

“My mother and my…I mean Charles were wounded in front me, so were some Jews. Frankly Hank, I don’t see any reason for me to prepare for whatever you will be saying.”

Hank took a deep breath. He exhaled it slowly. He made thousands of scenarios in his little notebook and created many words arrangement for Erik. He already practiced with himself in front of the bathroom’s mirror. He was so sure about it while he was driving to here. His confidence wasn’t shaken at all until he saw Erik, because he realized that none of his words arrangement could lessen Erik’s anger or anguish. “Erik…Charles killed himself four days ago, by consuming pills carelessly.”

 

There were only Erik and Hank in that room, accompanied with technologies to record their meeting. Even the guard stood outside the room. Neither Erik nor Hank held gun in that room. There was no catastrophe that was created by gunshot in that room. But Erik swore that he heard a gunshot after Hank had finished his words.

“I see,” whispered Erik.

“I’m, I’m really sorry Erik. I hope I could offer more than words or, _fuck_ , even sorry isn’t appropriate enough.”

“So this is Charles’ strategy to win me back.”

“What?” Hank just couldn’t believe what Erik had said. How he concluded the ridiculous thing was beyond Hank’s mind.

“Do you expect me to believe a man who is ambitious and naïve, whose goals are long-term, just killed himself? No, Hank. I know Charles, it was impossible for him to do that.”

Hank slammed the table while bringing his body closer to Erik. One would think that he was still less intimidating than his other form, but anybody could see the fume inside of him.

“I thought you have enough common sense, Erik. How come you think it isn’t possible? IT’S FUCKING POSSIBLE. It’s fucking possible after you shot him and leaving him alone! Not only that, you also try to take Raven, his fucking sister and one of the people he fucking cared. It’s fucking possible after you indirectly convinced him that you fucking murdered the president. It was fucking possible after you and Raven didn’t contact him for years. Just fucking wake up, Erik!”

It was expected for someone to come for Hank’s voice was loud and clear. A guard frowned at the sight of Hank doing the ‘bad cop’ routine.

“Sir, please calm yourself. We will not tolerate any violence. And you still have seven minutes.”

“No, I think I’m done here. Pardon for the commotion. Just, please just take me out of here," said Hank with his back facing Erik.

“Okay then. This way, sir.”

Erik thought Hank would re-affirm his words. Unfortunately, the scientist left Erik without a word. Even Erik had held Charles before Erik left the blue-eyed telepath.

 

Erik never put “Charles’ death” in any of his dream or scenario. Honestly, he could never see Charles as a dead person. He could see Charles ruining his plan or commanding side-by-side with him, but never thought to live in a day where Charles was dead.

What difference Charles’ death could make anyway? Erik only lived with Charles for a few months. He had already spent most of his live without Charles. Logically, Erik should be able to live without Charles because Erik had already lived without Charles for a long time. Charles’ death – logically – shouldn’t’ affected Erik.

It didn’t erase Erik’s raging feeling. He felt that Charles was unfair for leaving him forever because Erik never thought there was a day where Charles left him for forever. It was an enormous unfairness. Charles should prepare Erik. Now, Erik had to re-create all of his plans and put Charles’ death in them. Erik had to prevent himself for getting lost in mere sentiment. Also, He had to visualize a world without Charles. A world without a combination of a pair of gentle blue eyes, brilliant mind, and kind heart.

Erik had to live without Charles for forever, starting this day. But Erik didn’t want to. Erik didn’t want to live a world without Charles. Erik didn’t want to question or analyze the reason because he just didn’t want to.

 

Erik was so bored these days. He also felt an amount of loneliness these days. He rarely needed human contact, but Erik craved for one lately. So he concentrated on the last time he celebrated Hanukkah with his mother. Her mother looked so lovely, and her smile was very beautiful. They lit the candles carefully with smiles on both of their faces. But the memory was also combined with an intangible presence. Erik didn’t mind, because it felt so warm and intimate. Everyday, Erik was grateful for having a memory with the two people he loved the most.

 

_Et des que je l’apercois_

_Alors je sens en moi_

_Mon coeur qui bat_

_-_ Edith Piaf, _La Vie en Rose_


End file.
